Back in 2004, when I was told I’d actually be passing some of my exams and it might be a good idea to go and have a look at some universities, my grandparents drove me up to the University of Glasgow, some 200 miles away. Beyond the gates into that Hogwarts-alike building, the first thing I saw was Millie, and at that moment I knew where I was supposed to be.

With Millie on offer, the decision was made: I would go to Glasgow. I would go to wherever Millie was, actually. I’d follow Millie anywhere. Out of everything I encountered that day – badass grammatologists, a safe containing the footprint of Kurt Cobain, a whole city that sounded like Billy Connolly – it’s Millie that stands out to this day, and my incredulity that nobody else seemed to feel the same way about her that I did.

Millie was a full-scale statue of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“Someday,” I vowed there and then, both to myself and to everyone within earshot, “when I graduate from this place, I’m going to ride that thing like a cowboy with my graduation cap in the air.”

And so it was done. I went home and scrawled DINOSAUR in red crayon all over my UCAS form. A few months later, I packed all my things and headed North, beyond the Wall, braving the wargs and the Scotsmen, to begin a new chapter in my academic life, at DINOSAUR.

Fast-forward to 2007, and the cost of replacing those parts of Millie which kept getting hacked off and stolen by the students has proven too much for the administration and Millie is towed away, leaving only her head behind at the Hunterian museum. Disappointment number one.

A little further on, in 2008, I am trying to hire the graduation gown. Somehow, I have been convinced to stay behind at DINOSAUR Glasgow University. Millie is gone, but not forgotten. It’s expensive. “I’m sorry — how much for a cap?” I ask. “Oh, don’t worry. You won’t be needing a cap,” they tell me. “As one of the oldest universities in the country, graduates of Glasgow University don’t have to wear a cap.” Disappointment number two.

Eventually, I graduate to the sound of church organs. They are playing the theme to Star Wars. But the lightsaber fight that ensues in the cloisters – Kirsty and I doing battle with our degrees in our first act as real, adult human beings – is half-hearted.

25th January 2012 / Comments, 11 notes
#Glasgow #dinosaurs